The Perryman's Richie and Betty
Co-Author's of Harmony
in the Emerald City a couples workshop
Proudly Present excerpts for their ever popular book:
He Said,
She Heard/She Said, He Heard
Lumpy Beds and Cold Shoulders. So the Honeymoon is Over
Fifteen years of marriage. Ten children (his, her's and their's)
a dog, a cat, a business and a ministry,
you better believe there are miss-communications and hurt feeling's as a
consequence . The old cliche' about the word's getting lost in translation could easily be word's
lost in communication. This is a constant source of discontent in our home. But we have managed to create tools for "better
receiving"
communication. Since we are now EXPERTS at communicating to the top of our lungs. The problem arises
when we receive and process that communicated thought. We assume what the other meant based on our own self-serving agenda.
This often creates a problem where there was none.
In the coming weeks we will post real situations from our Marriage
and how we resolved the issues.
We hope you gain some insight into your own relationships or at least see the humor in
ours.
Rev. Betty and Dr. Da
This is the case of: She is concerned
that He may be being used by His Agent/Business Associate?
He is wondering why She is never satisfied with the amount
of money He earns?
He Said/She Heard
He Said: The
amount's are not always reflected on the right pay sheets. Sometimes the sheets overlap in posting and the amounts are
broken up. I'll recheck it but I believe the amount is correct.
She Heard: Why do you constantly
challenge everything I do. I don't need you looking over my shoulder.
She Said: I
thought your contract agreement was $2.25/mile plus the fuel surcharge, this gross does not reflect that agreement?
He Heard: Why don't you make enough money?
The Problem:
As
you can see the Perryman's were not on the same page. Often when couples have been married for a time they can get into
a rut of thinking they naturally know what the other thinks and feels. Sometimes that assumption is so far off the mark the
couple might as well be strangers who have never even met. When she talks to her friends they hear: "I don't understand
when I point out to Him that those big corporations are trying to eat Him alive why He acts like I'm the money police!
" When He confides to His friends they hear: " Man I don't understan why She constantly rides my backside.
Nothing I do is ever good enough for Her I can never make enough to please Her!"
THE PROBLEM is obvious
He communicates with logic and She communicates with emotion. He is Hearing in terms of Finances and She hears with
Nurturing, Family Protecting Emotions. The two can not be reconciled seperately. This is common to many couples and fortunately
a very easy situation to resolve. Here is an activity that will address the problem of communicating from the two handles
of a Dowsing Rod and meeting at the pointer for mutual understanding.
Resolution: The
Forked Tongue. We cut a forked branch from a tree. The forks represent our
statement that we are trying to communicate, the opposite fork represents the response. With the Fork of the branch held in
our right hands we proceed to explain our statement and listen to the explanation of the response. I am alway's amazed
at what I missed in our conversations.
I highly endorse this exercise.
Try The Forked Tongue.
May it bring you the Blessing of understanding and communication.
We hope
this exercise will shed some light on your relationship or put our's in a humorous light.
Remember it's not He
said She said it's He heard, She Heard
Until next time, May the Blessing Manifest in Your Life,
Rev.
Betty and Dr. Da
